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Daily Deviation
Daily Deviation
August 7, 2010
A Collector of Scraps by *simeberg is an interestingly unusual and detailed piece of flash fiction, be sure to give it a close read.
Featured by GaioumonBatou
Literature
Whining
My poems don't have time for me anymore.
They talk like there are
better places to be
real people to see,
like life's a movie worth watching,
but I'm not on the screen.
At least I can still sing.
Well,
I have a cold right now.
Oh well.
Literature
Hotel Rules
The lobby and front entrance are strictly out of bounds.
In the car park, if you ask yourself any of these questions – how you're going to get out of a spot, whether you're allowed to park there, if the monster truck beside you will crush your car when it leaves, if you'll crush the motor scooter in the next stall, whether your car will roll onto a different level, if you'll be able to find your car again, etc. – you're behaving normally and you will almost certainly find your car in the same state and location that you left it in.
Use the service staircase and corridor to avoid surprises. The more lush and carpeted a staircase is
Literature
Newspapering and Postcards
1.
Yellowed autumns crinkled under thumb
as I picked away at language long lost
depicting us on a boat run.
I was stuck in an infinite regression-
memories twisted and turned and
denoted turbulence of last excursions.
The authorship is creased,
writing spirals into
regressive loops.
2.
I have come back from the end of the world,
accompanied by the sounds
of a soft murmur and the ever-pressed newspaper clippings
of an expeditions trek into an October breeze.
It was of a black winter morning I returned to the sights
of London north, the besmeared and hazed brickwork
embracing the steam coddled galley of our
sea-ferry.
Off
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*Flash-Fic-Month 5th July
Oohoohoo! I'm really excited about this one. I started writing totally cold, pretty much just putting down random stuff and it evolved into something I'm really pleased with.
Love to see what you guys make of it. Specifically, I can't work out whether to drop the last para or not.
Word Count: 1000
Oohoohoo! I'm really excited about this one. I started writing totally cold, pretty much just putting down random stuff and it evolved into something I'm really pleased with.
Love to see what you guys make of it. Specifically, I can't work out whether to drop the last para or not.
Word Count: 1000
Mature
© 2010 - 2024 simeberg
Comments45
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Originality Technique ImpactI love the first line. I really do.
At first reading, I was thinking that the jump from 2008 back to 1990 was out of sorts, but the story of Jim Sawney tells more about Pinder than any of the sections that are actually in reference to the man.
I think the last paragraph adds something to it, a little bit of that no matter how far we go the scary things we encounter as children are never quite as far away as we think.
I do like this, in a very uncomfortable sort of way. It's difficult to put my finger on exactly - it may just be the image of Pinder's tongue licking the wotsit packet - but something about the progression from the first seen to the last doesn't quite add up. I would suggest reviewing the order you've put them in - from 1992 to 2008 goes in chronological progression, and then you jump back to 1990. It might work to intersperse the segments about Pinder and his effect on the other characters throughout the telling of JIm's story, since more focus is put on his encounter with Pinder than any of the others.